“Ooohh! Unnggh! Nooo! Owie!”

Ghastly moans and cries arose from the couch in the parlor where Chesterfield Chipmunk had collapsed when he arrived home last night.

Kimana Chipmunk looked at her mate with mixed emotions –sympathy and concern for his pain, a feeling of helplessness that she couldn’t help him, and exasperation that his own actions had led to his painful predicament.

Last night she had admonished him, “Chet, please, please be careful tonight. Nighttime darkness can be perilous for little chipmunks. There are dangerous animals out there, like owls and cats and weasels. And tonight is Halloween! Bats fill the sky. Werewolves prowl the forest. Ghosts and evil witches are on the loose.”

“Don’t worry, Kimana. There’s a whole bunch of us going out together -- a witch’s dozen of chipmunks, a scurry of red squirrels, a coterie of prairie dogs, and a madness of marmots. We’re the Rodent Raiders of Purgatory Canyon! We’ll stick together in a tight group; in the shadows, we’ll look like one large animal, something scary like a wolverine. Nothing will try to hurt us. I’ll be dressed like that old-time cartoon character, Mighty Mouse. ‘Here I come to save the day!’ And that herculean Montgomery Marmot is going as Worf, from Star Trek; he’ll scare off anything!”

Kimana saw that she would be unable to persuade Chesterfield to abandon his trick-or-treat safari.

“Well, Chet, I can tell you’re going no matter what I say. But, look. It’s going to be cold tonight; you need to wear a hat to help you keep warm. Here, wear your walnut shell motorcycle helmet. And, another thing. Don’t eat lots of candy while you’re out tonight; you’ll give yourself a tummy ache.”

So, Chesterfield had joined the other Rodent Raiders and set out on the annual Halloween trick-or-treat adventure. Just as he exited his Queen Anne style house and stepped out into the darkness on the veranda, someone shouted “BOO!” and nearly scared him out of his superhero boots.

As the Rodent Raiders sortied into the neighborhood, Chet looked up and saw ghostly, glowing creatures in the sky. “Wha, wha, what’s that?” A burly hamster, who seemed to have had some military experience, explained. “Those are hummingbirds providing air cover for our unit. They’ll warn us of any dangers nearby. And the iridescent feathers on their throats confuse and frighten owls and any other flying predators.” “But hummingbirds don’t fly at night!” “Oh, we outfitted them with tiny night-vision gear. They seem to enjoy this new adventure of being out at night. And we’ve supplied them with Wooly Bully Root Beer to keep them fueled.”

Chesterfield and his cohort enjoyed their evening prowling the moonlit streets of the quiet city of Trinidad. Feeling adventurous, they even went down to the river and followed it through the center of town. Wouldn’t the Bloom Mansion be a great setting for a haunted house? Or, at least, a Halloween home for the Addams Family?

A spooky sight, on Commercial Street – a “Boo Bucket” from the Golden Arches moving along the sidewalk on its own. The group went to investigate this eerie phenomenon; it turned out to be Thing, from the Addams Family, carrying the treats he had collected.

So, the next morning, Kimana is wondering why her sweet mate seemed to be in such pain. She decided to check his goody bag. Hey, there’s some great stuff here! Acorns, piñon seeds, pepitas, macadamias, sunflower seeds, dried cranberries, hazelnuts(and filberts, too), pecan halves and even pistachios grown in southern New Mexico! [A stray thought – are those delicious nuts called ‘PEE – cans’, or ‘pe-CAHNS’?] Wow! Chet had really done well for himself! Yet, he seems to have a terrible tummy ache. What’s going on?

Kimana dug deeper into the goody bag. What’s this? Wrappers from chocolate kisses and from peanut butter cups! A small box that was marked ‘Cracker Jack’. A dark brown bag that had once held 8 ounces of chocolate-covered peanuts. Beer nuts, whatever those are. A Payday bar. Skittles? Chewing gum? Dozens of candy wrappers, but what happened to the candy? Then Chesterfield moaned again, and Kimana realized that he had foolishly eaten more than a year’s worth of candy in just a few hours last night. Well, it looks like he’ll be living on chicken soup and chamomile tea for a few days.