note from aemcherry: my cringey much younger self (and her friends) wrote this south park highschool au awhile ago and gave up on it. i decided to revive bc why not lol.

12th Grade. Wow, already? Stan could’ve sworn yesterday that he, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick were dumb 8th graders getting an orientation of this place. It was insane how fast time could fly sometimes. Stan wished time could fly that fast when he actually WANTED it to. That way, he could get out of class faster. He was in history class. Stan hated history class, what’s the point? The teacher was talking about something “important”, but Stan couldn’t care less. Something about a war. Or a treaty. Or whatever. Stan watched the clock tick. Class was almost over, just a few more minutes and he’d go to lunch. Tick. Tick. Tick. A pencil tapped rapidly against the desk next to him. “Dude, could you not?” Stan muttered. “Sorry.” Kyle whispered, immediately stopping.

Stan glanced at Kyle, his notebook filled with neat but rushed notes. Why did he care about this? He didn’t used to. Stan looked back at the clock. Tick. Tick. Tick. “Almost there…” he muttered under his breath. Kyle leaned over slightly. “You didn’t write anything.” Stan didn’t even look at him. “Yeah. I know.” “You’re gonna fail this class.” Stan shrugged. “Cool.” Kyle frowned a little, glancing between Stan and his notes. “Dude, it’s not even that hard, you just have to-” “I said I know,” Stan snapped, quieter this time, but sharper. Kyle leaned back, raising his hands slightly. “Alright. Sorry.” After that it was silent, it somehow felt even louder. Finally, the bell rang.

Stan didn’t waste a second, he grabbed his bag and stood up immediately, Kyle was close behind. The hallways flooded instantly. Noise, lockers slamming, people yelling, some chick laughing way too loud. “Who the hell pissed in your cereal?” Kyle asked as he caught up with Stan, who was walking much faster than usual. Stan didn’t slow down, he didn’t even look at Kyle, he kept his eyes forward. “Nobody.” He said hurriedly. Kyle rolled his eyes. “Well, something's got your panties in a twist. Did you and Wendy break up again?”

Stan finally slowed down just enough to shove his way through a group of freshmen clogging the hallway. “No,” he said flatly. “Not yet. Wait till the next party that has strong booze. It’ll happen then.” Kyle sighed. “Sounds healthy.” Stan didn’t reply. He knew it wasn’t. Suddenly, a hand was on Stan’s shoulder. Stan jumped. It was just Kenny, who started laughing when he noticed Stan got scared. “Jesus Christ, McCormick!” Kenny was still laughing. “Dude, you should’ve seen your face!” “Ha. Ha.” Stan said sarcastically. Kenny was practically beaming, not just because he startled Stan either. His mind was somewhere else, anyone could tell.

“What’s got you so happy?” Kyle asked. “Tammy came to visit from college again. I got laid.” Kenny smiled like an idiot, as Stan scoffed. “Of course you did.” “What the fuck’s up with him?” Kenny asked Kyle, he was gesturing to Stan dramatically. Kyle opened his mouth like he was going to answer, then immediately looked like he regretted even being asked. “I don’t know,” Kyle said, glancing at Stan. “He’s just being— “—normal?” Stan cut in. “—annoying,” Kyle finished. “Is it about Wendy? Oh my god, DUDE, you need to stop breaking up with her and getting back with her!” Kenny said, rolling his eyes. “Like what’s the point? You don’t bang with her, she’s not upping your social status any, and, frankly, nobody likes he-”

Kenny was interrupted by Stan suddenly shoving his shoulder hard enough to make him stumble a step. “Shut up,” Stan said, sharper than before. “Dude, I was just-” Kenny started. “I DON’T care, shut up about Wendy already.” “Jesus, someone’s touchy today.” Kenny said quietly. The rest of the walk was silent, until Kenny, Kyle, and Stan arrived in the cafeteria.

It was already loud as hell. Just like always, everything was in its place. Clyde was smacking his friends lunch trays while bragging about his football scholarship, Tweek was having a panic attack by the auditions list, meaning he got the lead role again or he got ensemble… again, Craig was trying to calm Tweek down, and Bebe was walking around the cafeteria like she ruled the world, her head held high and eyes saying something like ‘yeah, I am better than you’.

The trio got their usual lunch which was a milk carton with mystery meat and a small cup of salad. “Dude, I swear lunch has gotten worse since Chef died.” Kyle said, staring solemnly at the slop. “Everything’s gotten worse since Chef died,” Stan muttered, poking at the mystery meat with his fork like it personally offended him. Kenny snorted. “Nah, this is just prison food at this point.” They made their way over to their usual table. Butters was already there, unwrapping something that actually looked kind of good. “Oh, hey fellas!” Butters smiled, a bit too brightly. “Look what my mom packed me!” He showed the group a peanut butter and banana sandwich. “My mom made it for me, ain’t it sweet?” “Dude, she’s been packing the same food since 4th Grade. In 4th Grade, Kenny still thought fart jokes were funny.” Kyle said, gesturing to Kenny. Kenny didn’t say anything, but the look on his face made an entire counterpoint. “Where’s Cartman?” Butters asked, glancing around the room nervously. “Why do you care? He bullied the hell out of you back when we were kids.” Kyle replied, taking a sip of his chocolate milk. “Umm… well I did something kinda stu-” Butters began, slightly shaking.

“BUTTERS, YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!”