I sat watching them laugh, play cards, tease. It was my own fault I was not apart of the group. To them I was one of them sitting on that picnic mat under the shining sun, not a care in the world, as the ocean breeze danced through our curls and we sipped the red wine. Did they know the truth? No! I had forced myself into the group. They saw me as a gentle, quiet girl who had great intellect and could speak poetry. But they didn't know what I had planned. Did I dare tell them the truth looking in their eyes.

There was Nate. Pure. Genuine. Smart. From day one he had sought me out and welcomed me. I never felt alone with him. He spoke so easily and we could speak about every subject. There was no awkwardness.

Daisy was as sweet as honey. But she had one flaw. She was so introverted that our friendship didn't work. Maybe it was her sense of neglect that sent me to these actions. I craved attention but somehow her lack of friendship really annoyed.

Elizabeth had everything I wanted. Man, I envied her. My smiles were so fake. Yet, I knew everything about her, her flaws, her greatest wounds, because she let me into her confidence. In fact, I knew all their secrets. I never share theirs or my own real ones.

Sarah was the real one. She believed my story to heart and really pitied me. But she often forgot how I just needed their love, not their attention.

Then there was Shane. Outgoing. Athletic. Full of jokes. He always teased and joked with me. Perhaps he was the one whose look of betrayal would constantly haunt me. After all, he never allowed anyone to truly harm me.

You may ask, what did they ever do to deserve this betrayal. Let me tell you. They didn't see my pain when I really needed them. They never saw beneath the fake smiles over sandwiches and wine. They just accepted me without a thought. They never cared to ask why I prefered to walk alone. Nor did they see the tears I carefully hid. Maybe they betrayed me first. You see, friendship is two ways. There must be work done on both sides. I was sick of doing it all. So I showed them how I always took the first step.