In July, my brother got sick. I nursed him through a long illness. He was bright-eyed and happy by August, and I played chess with him in early September. He spoke incessantly about being excited about returning to Rutgers in two weeks, and I let myself hope for the first time in months. By October, he was down to 98 lbs. and the entire family gathered in our apartment in downtown New Brunswick: Mom, Dad, Elise, our other sister, Rowan (who had flown in from California with wet, bloodshot eyes and sleep-tussled hair) and our much older brother, Branwell, from Mom's previous marriage. There was a paradoxically celebratory atmosphere, not despite Ben but because of him. He was just a small child the last time the entire family had gathered, especially with Rowan and Branwell.

We all stayed up late Friday night, eating pizza from Giovanelli's and drinking beer, including Ben. He seemed genuinely happy for the first time since his longtime girlfriend, Jessica, died six years ago. We all laughed a lot that night, and owing to how much everyone had drunk, we all stayed in the apartment, including Rowan and Branwell.

#

I awoke before everyone else Saturday morning. Looking in on Ben, I gently ruffled his hair. He was much to pale and cold to the touch. I sat upon the edge of his bed and lifted his upper body into my arms. I rocked him gently as I wept. I must have been louder that I thought, because I looked up at one point and found that the rest of the family had come in at some point. They stood watching me as I held my little brother and best friend. I just went back to rocking him.

#

As the EMTs took away his zipped body, I caught a movement in the room adjacent to the foyer. I know none of the others could see, but I could, and clearly. Ben sat in the corner stair in the sitting room, quietly reading a science fiction novel. That's when I learned that Ben would be just like Jessica. Only I could see Jessica, and I kept that to myself. But as time would show, those who loved Ben could see him, whether they had the aptitude for viewing ghosts or not.