I loaded in on July 26, 1982, at 9:06 p.m. Consciousness didn't come overnight. Instead, I grew slowly, learning to walk and talk like others in my same state of awareness. I moved through what others called life, assimilating to similar experiences like most other players. I attended public education, played sports, learned to drive and added to the production of society. I grew into adulthood with others in my age group, marrying and bearing children. However, in the back of my mind, there was always a question of belonging.

Why did it always feel as if I wasn't in control of anything? Did I want to work or was it a requirement to survive in this system? Could I also survive if I stopped working, stopped playing this game? Would I still be able to provide for those children I also loaded into this simulation? These questions plagued me as I trudged through the same shit day after day.

I realized quickly that not everyone would see the same way as me. Most people move through this timeframe on autopilot, much like an NPC (non-playable character). They go through the motions, thinking they have choices. However, every once in a while, I find someone who asks the same questions that ruminate in the back of my mind. Weather glitches, weird occurrences and strange oddities stand out now in a way they didn't use to, but for most they are brushed off as part of our changing world.

And the creation of artificial intelligence hasn't helped. We've given up our need to know and understand for quick, horribly flawed answers. We've relinquished our natural inquisitiveness for automated, fast fixes that do far more harm than healing.

But, then again, perhaps the game version I loaded into is simply a simulation of a world I have yet to know.