Walter turned into the jiffy off Hwy 50 outside Rusnick and parked his car. He climbed out, dragged himself inside for his usual coffee and cigarettes, paid the cashier, and stood just outside the door, wondering what tonight would bring, besides more sleepless nights.

Weeks ago, he’d stopped calling it insomnia, because that felt too much like a disease or illness. All he knew was that for some God-forsaken reason, he couldn’t sleep more than twenty minutes at a stretch and none of it was good sleep.

He used to spend a paycheck on those 5-minute sleep shots, but at $50 a pop, they didn’t provide the real sleep he was looking for. His body craved the deep, dreamless sleep he hadn't enjoyed in longer than he could remember.

He watched with bleary eyes as cars drove past, unable to do anything but stare with that spaced-out, numb look on his face.

"You okay, pal?"

Walter turned toward the night clerk and drew in a deep breath, let it out on a sigh.

"I'm fine," he murmured, took a drag on his cigarette. "Be better when I finally get some sleep."

"I hear ya," the clerk said with a grin of understanding. "I'd buy me a night at Sleep Land, but the price is too steep for my blood."

"Sleep Land?"

"Yeah," the clerk said. "It's that new place right off the highway, about five miles down the road, I'd say. You pay a hefty price, but I've heard it's worth the money for a good night's sleep."

Walter dropped his cigarette on the sidewalk and crushed it with the toe of his boot. "You just pay up and get to sleep?"

"Something like that. My cousin, Dawn, said she bought a package deal, but I don't know all of what they offer."

"I see," Walter said. "I'll have to check it out."

Walter drove by the sign that sat at the entrance to what looked like a retirement community. Small houses sat in neat rows with a large building in the center that had a massive "Welcome" sign on the front. Slowing down on the drive back, Walter turned into the entrance and meandered toward the building with the sign. He was greeted by a receptionist who had far too much pep for three in the morning. "How may I help you, Mr.?"

"Donovan. Walter Donovan."

"How may I help you, Mr. Donovan?"

"I heard that I can pay for a good night's sleep here?"

"You sure can," she smiled. "We have packages that range in price from $500 all the way into the several thousand dollar range, wholly based on what sort of sleep experience you'd like to have."

"Five hundred dollars for a night's sleep?"

"Oh no," the receptionist laughed softly. "That gets you five hours of sleep; however, you may have to contend with dreams that may be less pleasant than you'd prefer. Or they might be joyful and jovial. It's a toss-up."

"So how much would it cost me for eight straight hours of solid, dreamless sleep?"

"Eight-hundred for the eight hours and a thousand for the dreamless portion."

"Eighteen hundred dollars for one night's sleep?"

"That's right," the receptionist said with a smile that didn't seem to fit her mouth.

"Screw that," Walter said, but he took the pamphlet with him when he headed out the door.

Walter told himself he was done with it. Told himself that as he drove back onto the highway, pamphlet riding shotgun like an accusation. Eighteen hundred dollars for sleep was insane. Criminal, even. He could buy a used car for that. He could buy groceries for months. He could buy anything except the one thing his body was screaming for.

By the time he got home, the house greeted him with its usual enthusiasm, which was none at all. He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall, counting the cracks like they might eventually organize themselves into something useful. Twenty minutes later, he woke up choking on a dream he could not remember, heart pounding like it had somewhere better to be. That was when he reached for the pamphlet.

Sleep Land promised rest in the same tone casinos promised luck. Carefully worded. Cheerfully vague. Walter rubbed his eyes and laughed quietly to himself. Eighteen hundred dollars to not dream sounded like the kind of deal you only made once, either because it worked or because you did not get the chance to complain afterward.

He checked his bank app and winced. It would hurt. But so did everything else lately. He imagined eight hours of nothing. No darkness. No thoughts. No memories sneaking up on him like unpaid bills. Just a clean stretch of unconsciousness. The idea made his hands shake.

Walter dialed the number printed at the bottom of the pamphlet before he could change his mind. It rang once. Then someone picked up, already smiling, and he realized with a small sinking certainty that Sleep Land had been expecting him.

"Sweet dreams, this is Sleep Land. You are speaking with Kip." The voice was musical, yet mechanical. Walter thought that it sounded like a woman, perhaps the receptionist he had spoken to earlier.

"Yes, uhmm, I came past earlier and got a brochure, pamphlet or whatever. . . . . ."

"Mr Donovan, yes. Hello." The voice was soft, but the enunciation, taut. Kip was the woman. "We spoke earlier."

Walter thought he could hear the crackle from Kip's smile spreading out over her face. "Oh, hello. I would like to make a booking, please."

"Of course," said Kip, "are you still wanting the eight hours, dreamless?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Okay, let's see what we can do," said Kip, "We got a flood of new bookings right after you came in."

Through the receiver, Walter could hear Kip's typing, efficient and continuous. "Okay, I was really hoping for something tonight."

"Yes, of course," said Kip. "Please hold for a moment, Mr Donovan. I'll be right back."

The hold music was 'Mr Sandman'. The Emmy Lou Harris version.

Sandman, I'm so alone (bom, bom, bom, bom).
Don't have nobody to call my own (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

If only it were that simple, Walter thought. What sort of magic beam would they turn on him at Sleep Land?

"Mr Donovan, are you there?" Kip was back.

"Yes, I'm here." Walter wondered whether people could hear how much effort it took him to speak even a few words. He caught himself holding his breath, waiting for her response, and let out a sigh.

"Okay, so, as I said, we are unusually busy for the moment. I'm afraid that the earliest that we could book you in for eight hours, dreamless, is midnight on Wednesday."

"Oh," said Walter. He instantaneously felt all hope leave his body, realising that he had never even registered that it was there. Fear took residence again. Walter knew he couldn't make it through to midnight Wednesday. Cogs started turning in his subconscious, gearing up for something. Dark alternatives.

"But there is possibly another option, Mr Donovan. I checked with the duty sleep technician and we have had a late cancellation for the flotation station, in about forty-five minutes, if you can make it back here in time.

"The flotation station?" said Walter.

"Yes. That would be for three hours only, Mr Donovan, but I'm confident it would be suitable for you. Do you have any allergies, Mr Donovan?"

"No... I ... what is the flotation station?"

Kip's voice had sped up, her enunciation was more clipped. "A patented technology of Sleep Land. You float in water in an isolation tank. The water is saturated in minerals so that you are buoyant. The temperature is maintained at close to body temp, so after a while you won't feel it at all."

"Uh-huh, so . . ."

"And the sleep technician puts you into a mini coma for the duration."

"I'll take it," Walter breathed, figuring if he were going to survive to see an eight-hour cycle of sleep, he'd better do something.

"Excellent," Kip said, and Walter could hear the saccharine smile through the receiver. "We'll see you soon."

"Wait!" Walter called into the phone. "How much is this three-hour session?"

"Oh, that's the best part," Kip said happily. "It'll only cost you one hundred and fifty dollars. Because we cannot guarantee you a quality three-hour sleep cycle, we give a steep discount to anyone who uses the flotation station."

"Awesome," Walter said with a grin. "See you soon."

"We'll be waiting," Kip said as Walter hung up. Grabbing a quick change of clothes, he threw them into an overnight bag along with his toothbrush, toothpaste, and hairbrush and was out the door within ten minutes. With good traffic, it'd take him another twenty to make it to Sleep Land, giving him a cushion of fifteen minutes, though he didn't want to push his luck.

Walter pulled into the parking lot of Sleep Land with twelve minutes to spare, found a parking space, and sighed as he headed toward the reception area.

"Mr. Donovan," Kip said cheerfully. "We're so thrilled you could make it."

"By the skin of my teeth," he said, feeling the weight of sleeplessness press down on him.

"If you'll follow me, we'll get you started straight away."

Walter couldn't say he liked the hospital-type atmosphere of the reception area, but it was like visiting his mother compared to the intensely clinical feel of the flotation station staging area. He was given a small closet to place his belongings in and then they started a routine set of vitals before he heard the whirr of a motor and turned to see a thick, almost gel-like fluid start to fill up a massive tank.

"Now, Mr. Donovan, if you'll step into the tank, we'll get you floating in no time," Kip said with a smile.

Walter hesitated for a moment, the reality of the situation sinking in. But desperation pushed him forward, and he climbed into the tank, feeling the warm liquid envelop him in a surreal way.

As he settled into the water, the sleep technician began the process that would induce a deep sleep. Walter felt his eyelids grow heavy as the technician administered the sedative, and he slowly drifted off to sleep.

But just as Walter was on the brink of blissful unconsciousness, he was suddenly jolted awake by the sound of voices. He opened his eyes to see three figures standing over him, with strange accents and menacing expressions.

The Nihilists, as they were called, were decked out in their odd attire that seemed to be trying too hard to be intimidating. One of them, with a thick accent, growled, "Ve do not like vhat you are doing here, Mr. Donovan. You cannot just come in here und float around like zis."

Walter's heart pounded in his chest as he stammered, "I-I'm just here to get some sleep. I didn't mean any harm."

The second Nihilist, brandishing a pair of scissors, sneered, "Ve don't care about your sleep, Donovan. Ve have vays of making you talk. Ve vill cut off your... how you say... johnson!"

Walter's eyes widened in terror as the third Nihilist nodded solemnly and added, "Ya, ve vill make you sing like zat fat man in the bowling alley. You vill tell us vhere it is!"

Walter trembled in fear, the reality of the situation hitting him like a ton of bricks. "Please, I don't know what you're talking about! I just wanted a good night's sleep!"

But the Nihilists were undeterred, their ridiculous threats getting more absurd by the second. "Ve haff vays of making you tell us. Now, spill!"

Just then, Kip, hearing the commotion from outside, burst into the room, her eyes widening in shock at the sight before her. "What is going on here?!"

The Nihilists turned to her, their accents thickening as they tried to sound menacing, "Ve are here to claim vhat is owed to us! Ze johnson vill be ours!"

Kip rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, unimpressed by their antics. "Oh, for goodness' sake, not this again. You know the rules, guys. No cutting off anything in Sleep Land. If you want to file a complaint, you'll have to go through the proper channels."

The Nihilists grumbled amongst themselves, clearly put off by Kip's lack of fear. Finally, the first Nihilist spoke up, "Fine. Ve vill go... for now. But mark our vords, Mr. Donovan. Ve vill be back, und next time, ve vill not be so forgiving."

With that, the Nihilists turned and shuffled out of the room, their threats fading away as they disappeared down the hallway. Walter let out a shaky breath, relieved that he had narrowly escaped a bizarre encounter with the most absurd villains he had ever encountered.