Starry, starry night. High above Arizona’s Mojave Desert, two spectral forms appeared to float among the stars of the Milky Way, their wing beats making a noise like thunder. Were these the mighty thunderbirds of ancient Hohokam myth? No, they were Ramóna and her BFF Desdemona, two damsel dragons on a jaunt to the legendary realm of Las Vegas. On a dark desert highway below them, a few long-haul truckers seemed to have the same destination.

The daring damsels had left their Sonoran Desert homes near Tucson early that evening. After skirting the big city of Phoenix [named after a cryptid of Persian myth], they used Highway 93 as a navigational aide as they flew northwest. Between Wickenburg and Wikieup, they overflew fifty (or so) miles of the Joshua Tree Forest. South of Wikieup and west of Bagdad was the ghost town of Nothing(really just an abandoned gas station/convenience store); there was certainly no reason to make much ado about the place. Near Dolan Springs, north of Kingman, they espied the glow of Sin City’s bright lights on the horizon. Minutes after crossing the Colorado River at Black Canyon, they reached Las Vegas.

As the saying goes, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” so we don’t know much about the next few days. To be fair, the girls might not remember much of that time anyway, except that they did consume quite a few margaritas – ah, firewater with crushed ice! Giggle Juice! (“Hey, ya know, those guys from Area 51 were kinda cute!”) But, on their last day, they went to an outdoor concert on the shores of Lake Mead. Hot August night, and when you’d almost bet you could hear yourself sweat, he walks in; Puff, the Magic Dragon made his entrance to the music of “Chariots of Fire.” Eyes black as coal, and when he lifts his face, every ear in the place is on him. What a sight! His scales glowed iridescent by the light of the silvery moon, as he sang a collection of classic tunes. Members of the audience were dancing in the moonlight, while others signaled their approbation with their cigarette lighters. Ramóna and Dezzy were positively glowing as they sang along with “Steam Heat”. Soon, they were smokin’ hot when Puff sang “Great Balls of Fire.” Unfortunately, they were ejected from the concert, indeed from the State of Nevada, when they accidentally set fire to two cottonwood trees during the performance of “Burning Love.”

So, here they were, exiled to the far side of the Rubicon, er, no, the Colorado River, not far south of the Grand Canyon and near the western end of the Mogollon Rim region. Their trip to Las Vegas had been cut short, but they weren’t yet ready to return home. The girls just want to have fun! Just for kicks, they took jobs roasting chili peppers at a roadside stand on Route 66, east of Kingman. After a few days, they continued east to Flagstaff and the San Francisco Volcanic Field. Somehow, along the way, they acquired flags of the nations of Wales and Bhutan, each bearing the image of dragons which represented those countries. They carried these flags with them as they flew south to their homes in the Sonora Desert.

Lorcan Laverty, a very well-dressed leprechaun, galloped through the desert of Saguaro National Park on his steed, Toby the wolpertinger. Toby looked similar to the native jackalopes, except with saber teeth and feathered wings. Those wings were currently folded up on account of the sand blowing lazily through the air, which got caught in Lorcan's ruddy beard as they traveled.

As some well-educated people know, leprechauns are the masterminds behind many casinos in Las Vegas (the key exception being the Luxor, which is owned by an ancient sphinx with the power to peer through time). This is natural--their two special talents are good luck and the ability to hold on to money, both very useful in the trade. Lorcan was still a young leprechaun, being only about sixty-four years old, but he was hoping to one day inherit the family business. And right now, he was hoping to deal with a major problem.

He squinted and held his hand up to his face, peering through the wind to see flashes of fire near the top of Mica Mountain. With an ear-splitting honk, Toby took to the skies and flew towards the flames.

Ramóna and Desdemona were playing a game of aerial basketball, trying to shoot fireballs through holes in the clouds. Ramóna was winning, twenty to eleven, though Desdemona claimed it was only because the wind was against her. Ramóna had won the last five games they played. They were just taking a halftime break, refreshing themselves by cracking open some cans of Monster Energy (brought to them by a friendly Gila monster) in their favorite cave. The drinks were "Rio Punch" flavored, which reminded them that they had always wanted to go to the Carnaval in Brazil. Desdemona suggested that they could stay over with her cousins, the feathered serpents of the Yucatan, on the way. Ramóna, a fan of the cumbia dance, suggested a stop in Cartagena. It would be a much farther flight than Las Vegas, but maybe one of these years...

The damsel dragons were interrupted from their vacation plans by the approach of a leprechaun wearing a tuxedo. Lorcan shouted something at them, but they couldn't hear him well over the wind. "What was that?" Ramóna asked, holding a claw up to her ear.

"I said, I'll see you in court!" Lorcan shouted. "You dragons! Always taking our gold!"

"He said there's a bee in his shorts?" Desdemona wondered out loud.

"No," said Ramóna, "I think he said he's taking us to court. He wants to play basketball with us."

Desdemona blew a fireball and twirled it on the tip of her tail. "I think he's a lil' bit too small for that. And too flammable."

"NO!" Lorcan flew right up to Ramóna's ear. "I work for the casino you visited last Saturday night! One of you, or maybe both of you, swooped in and took our treasure! I'm talking, of course, about cheating at poker. We're down half a million dollars because of you, and the casino is suing!"

Now the damsel dragons were puzzled. It was true that they had been very drunk during their Vegas excursion, and their memories had more than a few gaps, but Saturday night was the concert. That part, they remembered very clearly.

"That wasn't us," Ramóna said. "We were at Lake Mead listening to Puff the Magic Dragon."

The leprechaun took a tablet out of Toby's saddlebag, which the dragons had to squint to see, and showed them a video of a young damsel dragon walking into the casino. Much like Ramóna and Desdemona, she had glittery scales and fiery green eyes. But it was clearly a different dragon, because her tail was thinner and her claws were painted cobalt blue. "This is the dragon that swindled us," he hissed. "Does she look familiar to you?"

Ramóna looked at Desdemona, who snorted a puff of black smoke. "Yeah, actually, she does." Her claw scraped across the red sandstone as she growled, "Forget the Brazil vacation. I'd love to pay that flaming fleabag a visit. It's been much too long."