There comes a moment in a man's life when the walls fall down. The psychological barriers built to protect against the world crumble, revealing nothing but abject reality. So it happened to this man, one morning in the most ludicrous place of all—the toilet. He was quite content to live in delusion. But as he stares at the news article on his phone, the absolute certainty of reality sets in. This is something he simply cannot ignore.

"How long had this been going on? Were all the signs there? How BLIND have I been?

Thoughts were rushing through his head, picking up quite a pace as the truth penetrated his layers of denial, each defence popping like a bubble as the unavoidability of reality crashed down.

He was breathing faster and faster, unable to actively choose how to respond, he felt like a twig at the bottom of a waterfall as all the different implications of the truth hit him over and over, a cascade of inescapable thoughts. Heart rate soaring, adrenaline driving his body into a sweaty vessel full of anxious energy.

"What's happening to me? Am I dying? Is this a heart attack?" (italics stopped working for me, please imagine)

The rather sudden worries about impending death from heart failure were actually a relief - they broke through the spiralling chain of thoughts and gave him a moment to react.

"Okay, I've gotta breath slowly. In... Out... In... But what about.. Nope, Out... In..."

He tried to focus on breathing, tried to prevent falling back into the chaotic storm that was his destroyed delusions and the consequences of the truth. "I can't do anything if I'm dead. I've got to keep breathing. Just breathe. The rest comes later. Just breath.. In... Out..."

But what in the **** was 'later' going to be?? This nagging fear was growing ever larger, looming over his attempts to stay calm. Heart rate is ticking up again. "I have to get out of here. I need some air. There's no air in here." Scrabbling for a goal to pursue, hoping it will keep the spiral at bay, he reaches for the lock on the door. It doesn't budge. Click click click.. Jiggling isn't helping. "Huh...??" The small metal lock isn't going anywhere, and his fingers are starting to hurt from fiddling with it. "Oh, seriously?? Now??!!"

Well, at least this was a distraction from the existential crisis peeking around the corner.