When they looked at me, they saw a God.

When I looked in the mirror, I saw a scared girl.

When she looked at me, she saw a nervous wreck.

The only person who had ever understood me. Jordan Archer.

That day, we sat together on a picnic blanket.

Jordan's brown eyes slanted to my own. "Hey."

I looked up. "Yeah?"

"When are you going to tell them to fuck off?"

I blinked. "Who?"

Jordan sat up straight. "You know damn well who I mean. Those pieces of shit that abuse you!"

A small smile spread over my lips and I took her hand. "They don't abuse me. I lend them my power."

She scowled at me. "You let them take advantage of you."

"They're my followers. What else am I supposed to do?" I asked, confused.

Her chest rose and fell with effort, like she was angry. She pulled her hand out of mine.

"Give it up."

My gaze snapped to hers. "I can't do that and you know it. Without me, my followers would have nothing."

"Then let them!" She yelled. "I don't care! Just don't leave me!"

Her eyes and nose were red, and her chest heaved. She raked a hand through her hair.

My face softened. "I won't leave you. I'll be here in spirit."

"I don't want just your spirit." Her voice was quieter, shaky. "I just. . .can't do this without you. Please, don't let them take you from me."

Her lower lip quivered slightly, and she turned away.

I scooted closer and put my hand on her cheek, pulling her gaze back to mine. "Jordan, I. . ." I trail off. Really, I have no words of comfort for her. I have to leave her, whether I want to or not.

A man came then.

"My lady, we have to depart now."

I looked at him. Then back to Jordan. She sniffled and wiped her nose.

"Go. Wouldn't want to keep your precious followers waiting." There was a painful bite to her words.

"One moment," I said to the man. He nodded and left. I turned to Jordan. "You're the only one who ever treated me like a person. Not a god, not a disappointment, but a human being."

A tear streaked down her face, and I wiped it with my thumb. "So, why are you going?"

My heart twisted. "Because I have to."

Tears pricked my eyes.

She put her hand on mine. "No, you don't."

I kissed her then, because if I didn't, she would convince me to stay. I kissed her deep and then ran. Ran away into the sunlight and didn't look back.

That day, when she ran and never looked back, I thought I'd fall apart.

Somehow, I managed to stay together, though not without consequences. Now, I was on at least two mental health medications.

I still thought of her every day. I still cried every night.

But I was doing better.

I had a best friend. Dominic. I had a job at a Wendy's.

And still, I found myself staring up at that stupid grey expanse over my head.

I knew she was up there, answering prayers and doing godly paperwork. I wondered if she was happy without me.

Then Dominic tapped my shoulder. "Watch your step."

I looked down and saw a water puddle. I jumped into it, splashing mine and Nic's pants.

He groaned and I laughed. "You always do this."

"Because it's funny," I said, and walked away. He jogged up beside me.

"You seem to be getting lost in the sky more often now. Is this some new thing, or have you always been like this?" he asked.

I shrugged a shoulder. I didn't want to trouble Dominic with my relationship problems, considering he had his own.

"How's the romance going, by the way?" I said in an attempt to change the subject.

He frowned and bit the inside of his cheek. "Meh."

"Usually that means bad," I pointed out.

"Not bad," he said. "Just. . .not splendidly."

I sighed. Nic and his social troubles. "If you don't tell him, I will."

Nic gave me a flat look and then went back to kicking a rock. It scampered over the pavement. "Garcia's just not into me."

I raised a brow. "Not into you, eh? Is that why I caught him staring at you for thirty minutes straight at the party last week?"

Nic looked up. "No wa---Really? Why didn't you tell me?"

I crossed my arms and sighed. "Because you'd have just said, 'oh, Garcia's not into me, he'll never love me, waaaahhh'."

Dominic glared at me. "I would not---"

"You just did," I replied, and skipped forward when he tried to smack me.

I bumped into someone and knocked both of us to the ground. I looked up and saw the man himself!

I stood and brushed myself off, then yanked Dominic forward.

"Here, Nic, help the poor guy up. I accidentally knocked him down," I said with a pointed look at Nic.

I could see him grit his teeth. "Of course."

He helped Garcia up and helped him pick up the books he'd been carrying. "Here."

Garcia pushed his glasses up. I noticed a flush on his face. He looked down at his feet. "Hey, Nic---Is it okay if I call you that?"

Dominic chest rose and fell very quickly. "U-um, yeah. 'Course."

"I was wondering if maybe. . ." Garcia trailed off, rubbing the toe of his shoe into the pavement. "You'd like to study? Together, I mean."

"Oh, uh. . ." Dominic rubbed the back of his neck. "I was---"

"Just about to suggest that," I cut in, patting Nic's shoulder. "He'd love to study with you. He even has all his homework in his backpack."

Dominic gave me a sharp look, but I just grinned.

Garcia looked up for a split second, then down again. He pushed his glasses up once more.

"I'd really like that," he said quietly.

"Great!" I said and started walking home. I heard Nic say my name, but I was not looking back. If I gave that idiot a way out, he'd take to it faster than a chicken to feed.

When I got home, I dropped my bag on the floor and pulled my shoes off. I collapsed in bed and sighed. Turned onto my side.

There was a letter on my nightstand.

I sat up and opened it.

Just four words. "For when you're lonely".

I gasp and put my hand to my mouth, tears springing instantly in my eyes.

Because enclosed is a picture.

Of me and Vivian.

At the door, Garcia pulled off his shoes. Then straightened and pushed his glasses up. "This is where we put shoes."

I nodded and pulled mine off too. I arranged them neatly next to his.

He opened the door and I followed him in. His house was really nice. Straight ahead was the dining room which doubled as a living room. To the left of that was the kitchen, and the right was the staircase and I think the bathroom. It was all very clean and spotless. The only thing was it didn't feel lived in. There was little personality and no warmth.

Garcia was standing at the base of the staircase. "My room's on the second floor."

I walked over to him, and we climbed the stairs together.

We went to his bedroom and I raised my brows. There were clothes tossed everywhere, and multiple books on the floor and bed. CDs and records hung on the walls, along with a bunch of polaroids, art, and star maps. Above the bed there were thin, glittery gold drapes and artificial vines. Fairy lights were the sole source of light aside from the window. There was a bulletin board with pictures of stars and notes pinned to it. Posters were tacked above the bed and all over the walls.

"Sorry about the mess," Garcia said quietly and began picking up an armful of clothes.

I waved my hands. "No, no, it's fine! My room's messy as hell too."

He stuffed the clothes in a bin and sat at the desk.

I sat on the bed and crossed my legs. "So, what are we studying?"

He put together a stack of papers and came to sit next to me. "Astronomy."

"I love astronomy," I said. he handed me the papers and I was very impressed. The notes were very thorough. Each different fact was color coded, and there were detailed drawings.

Garcia pushed his glasses up. "It's really fascinating. Our world works on such a wonderful level."

I looked up at him. His hair fell over his eyes and caught the sunlight in a way that made him look like an angel. His green eyes flitted up to mine for a second, then he looked away.

I couldn't help smiling at how adorable he was. "What were you saying?"

"Nothing," he mumbled.

"Let's find a comfortable spot on your bed, then we'll study," I said. "That work for you?"

Garcia nodded and so I grabbed his notes and crawled up toward the mass of pillows at the head of his bed.

We laid side-by-side and spent a while studying the stars and planets.

Most of the time I spent staring at him. He'd look up occasionally, then look back down and tuck his hair behind his ear.

I listened to him talk about the mysteries of our universe.

"Hey."

Garcia peeked up at me but didn't make eye contact. "Yeah?"

"Has anyone ever told you how smart you are?"

His cheeks went a little pink. "I don't know."

I held my hand to him. He blinked at it, clearly confused.

"What is that for?" he asked quietly.

"Take it," I said.

He carefully slipped his hand into mine and I laced our fingers. Our palms fit together perfectly.

I raked a hand through my hair.

"I have something to tell you," I said before I could regret it.

"Hmm?"

"I'm in love with you. I have been for two years."

Garcia looked up, eyes wide. "What?"

I met his eyes. Those beautiful sea green eyes. "I love you."

He pushed his glasses up and looked down again. There was a while of silence. I assumed he was processing my confession.

Then, "Close your eyes."

"What? Why?" I asked, confused.

"Just do it."

So, I did.

Something soft and fleshy pressed against my lips. Then disappeared. "You can open your eyes now."

His voice sounded so nervous, I wasn't sure I wanted to. But I did. He sat over me, arms on either side of me. His glasses were missing and I could see his eyes so clearly.

"Is it fine if I do something really quick?" I asked.

He nodded. I took his face in my hands and pulled him down into a kiss.