This is such an awesome path to set up some direct action! And you included some great details to develop the world-building and background of this creepy creature.

Setting a story in Antarctica sets up a lot of potential for adventure, animal encounters, and fierce survival moments. Do you imagine this taking a fantasy turn with discoveries of magical things or weird creatures, or as a realistic fiction?

This was a fun story to respond to! There are so many story directions. I like how you ruled out easy topics like comets and aliens. That made me think more creatively about what the purple spot could be.

Yes, I see the connection!

This is very realistic in portraying relationships in younger people, being overwhelmed with their own feelings and thoughts. Just confessing these thoughts and feelings is such a big part of this kind of relationship.

Priestess is becoming a more interesting character as the story progresses. I hope you continue to build her involvement and character depth.

It is great that their fighting skills are getting more sophisticated as they get more practice.

I was talking about this part. This made me curious about she shouldn't tell Leon. "“Huh.” She climbed a little faster. “Weird way of saying it, but I think I understand. Thanks.” “Just don’t mention it to Leon.” I said. “Why not?” “It’s complicated.” That was all I said."

It is interesting how Leon is struggling at this point. It makes him more realistic to have these bad moments.

Strahd's pathetic ending was actually kind of funny! I would love to see some more background information about the origin of the gems and what powers they have.

I am SO curious about that hidden reason why Leon wouldn't respond well to that information about perspective!

This is definitely a good cliffhanger.

This chapter does a great job of establishing these friends as a cohesive group. I like the confidence they have in battle too.

This battle was going so well. It seemed so easy to defeat this creep. The injury and the king's kidnapping were interesting pivots here! I like the diverse moods that you bring to the story.

I appreciate the side point of Evergreen standing up to this villain for his lousy treatment of Priestess. Corpeus seems a little thrown off for a moment by this and he had to justify himself, so to speak. I also like Leon getting a little attention and showing that he isn't just a chilled out guy all the time, but could be tough when needed.

I like how Blaine is experiencing being a hero and having fun while doing it, but he is acting for the good of the people and not just for selfish reasons.

Great chapter!

@Riot45 has a great point. You portrayed both characters feelings very well. Your last line is a great, suspenseful transition!

I like how this chapter is offering some suspense with Vulcan tightening up security in the background, but the kids are still living in their safe familiar world of school activities and friendships.

Your story captures how people have a lot of complex thoughts and feelings even while having seemingly simple conversations. What do you think this character wants to achieve? Does he/she want to make friends? Or gain respect in a group of people that possess varied skills? Or forge more of a connection with their tribe that they learned about from their grandfather?