Hey Chris, It's great that a young person is confident enough to contribute writing pieces to a website, and also share about yourself. I am not an official "writer" but my good friend is. She hosts a writing group. So my advice to you is to keep writing, share with others, and maybe even take some writing classes in the summer or after high school. My observation, (again, I am not a professional) is that compelling writing comes from free expression combined with some skills and mechanics learned in a more formal setting. Good luck!

I love how you captured a teacher offering support, even in an awkward and nervous way. This teacher recognizes Jem's life challenges, but also that praise to lift up this student.

I can imagine Natasha finding love with this demon and maybe even a greater purpose in life as she fights the discrimination and curses people put on them!

Yes, that was a little far out of a plot twist! Although, I was imagining that the lunch wouldn't end up very wholesome and this oddball guy is part of some bizarre ruthless science experiment. It be interesting for another writer to choose the "alternate path" option for the story and take the plot in another direction.

I really enjoyed reading your first chapter. I would love to hear how you envisioned this story progressing along.

This is a beautiful story! I clicked on it and thought I might add the next chapter, but it is really great as a stand alone chapter. The moment, the message, the flood of emotions are all so nicely balanced. I can't imagine adding anything more.

Your prologue leaves the reader with many mixed feelings. This young girl went through so much in her life so far. However, there is a cautious optimism that these new beginnings might bring new opportunities, new friends, and new challenges. It is reflective of real life, where most of us go through joys and sadness, successes and let downs, and uncertainty about the future. It will be interesting to see how your story develops.