"Zooming at the speed of light, I bumped into the fate of my future, Pd Carebear yet it was impossible for the man to crack a smile. And he definitely did not have feelings. he gave me a stink eye that was so bad I actually smelt it. Unfortunately, my mouth yaps more than my brain thinks so I blurted that very statement and..."

"Jadie!" I waved bye to those kiddes. So small but they understand humor better than some. In the car, mom was sitting there scrolling on her phone." Heyy, I thought we could first pick Emerald and then go for our shopping spree, whatya think?" I merely nodded but inside I was screaming. Emy was so talkative than me. sometimes I just look at her mouth moving up and down when I can't bear to listen any more. Besides, I never wanted to go to the mall. I only agreed when mum said I could go anywhere as long as my phone was on, with me, and on full percent. I planned to get some joke books to read and share, speaking of, my name has grin, not my real name. Just like to make people laugh and the nick name grew on.

Maybe, I can liven up the name to a nice standard...

The mall smelled like pretzels and plastic, which honestly set the tone for the next twenty minutes of my life. Mom had wandered off toward the sale rack, phone still glued to her palm like it had grown there. Emy was already three stores deep into her running commentary, something about how the mannequins in the window "had better outfits than her ex", who dressed almost exactly like me, and so I pretended not to hear that, when we hit the Claire's. We pushed our way past the security guard, a big guy with a buzzcut and a name tag reading DEREK in bold font, through the sliding doors.

"Emy, we should stick together," I said.

"One sec," Emy said, and that's when I saw it. The smoothest, most practiced hand-to-pocket maneuver I have ever witnessed outside of a heist movie. A pair of star-shaped earrings vanished into her jacket like they'd never existed.

"Emy," I hissed.

"What? I'm just looking."

Derek was not buying it. His eyes had gone full laser-focus, sauntering slowly over to us with a casual strut. It was the kind of walk I imagined a shark that knows the fish isn't going anywhere would do, if sharks had legs. I did the only thing I know how to do under pressure: I panicked my way through into a comedy routine.

"SIR." I stepped in front of him so fast I nearly took out a display of scrunchies. "Sir, quick question, is it true that security guards can hear a bag of chips open from four stores away? Because my sister swears you people have a sixth sense and honestly I think it's a superpower being wasted on retail--"

Derek blinked. "Miss, I need you to step aside."

"I WOULD, except I'm currently doing an important survey for my podcast, which doesn't exist yet, but will, once I get enough material, and you, Derek -- can I call you Derek, your tag says Derek, unless that's a fake name for security reasons, in which case very smart, very mysterious--"

Behind him, I caught a flash of Emy sliding sideways toward the exit like a crab, if crabs had the desire to steal sparkly earrings.

"Miss, your friend--"

"My SISTER, actually, tragic story, we don't look alike because I got all the personality and she got all the height, it's a whole thing, ask our mom, she's around here somewhere, speaking of, have you ever noticed how moms disappear the SECOND you need backup? It's like they have a sensor for 'child about to embarrass self' and they just--poof--gone--"

Derek's mouth did something. A smile formed on his burly face.

I had him.

"Ma'am, I need to--" but he was fighting it now, one hand pressed to his mouth like he could shove the laugh back in.

By the time he got past me, still fighting his smile, Emy was gone. I found her by the fountain four minutes later, looking way too pleased with herself, earrings already dangling from her ears like she hadn't just committed a crime in broad daylight next to a Cinnabon.

"You," I said, "are going to get me arrested."

"You," she said, "just made a security guard laugh mid-pursuit. Jadie, that's a weapon."

I wanted to be mad. I really did. But some tiny, terrible part of me was doing a small victory lap.

Still. "Put them back," I said.

"They're on my ears."

"Emy."

"Fine. But you have to admit it. You have a superpower."

Maybe I did. Comedic distraction, weapon-grade. Just, probably shouldn't use it to enable my sister's budding crime spree. Probably.