I just got back home… ready to place my beautiful new plant on the windowsill.

“I love my new plant and I can’t wait to take care of it forever,” I thought. I decided to name it Christopher.

“chhchchhchhchch”

I pondered at what the sound could be. I returned from the kitchen until I heard the noise again-

“chhchchhchhchch”

I turned towards the windowsill, not ready for the huge shock. It was my plant. He was dying.

Christopher was dying.

“wHy MaStEr? WhYyYyY?” he said- with a soft wail.

“wh-what OH MY GOD what happened? I literally just bought you!”

“aUgHhHhHh”

“How is this even possible?”

“NoBoDy KnOwS.”

Those were his last words. I hyperventilated. I hurried to the fridge, to grab my green apple I left there half an hour ago.

“wHy MaStEr?”

CHRISTOPHER II was dying too. This day cannot get any worse.

“WHAT?! I JUST PUT YOU IN THE FRIDGE-”

“Actually though, I have no idea why this happens” Christopher II enunciated…

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

My scream echoed through the empty walls of my home. To make myself stop mourning about Christopher and Christopher II, I went to the local garden store. After 3 long hours of browsing through plants, I finally found a worthy successor for Christopher. And this made me happy, so I didn’t feel there was a reason to find a descendant for Christopher II.

Time passed. I was feeling better in general. I was playing video games with my friends when things start to get weird again.

“HEY MASTER… CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING QUICKLY” a loud voice spoke. I didn’t know where it was coming from. “It’s been 2 WEEKS since the last time you watered me!”

“I guess I forgot…”

“OH, I’M SORRY TO REFRESH YOUR MEMORY. NOW IF YOU DON’T MIND… I NEED WATER TO

SURVIVE!” he shouted

“Okay… uh… here you go,” I poured a glass of water on the plant

“I like that,” I kept watering “wait, slow down…”

“What happened?” I questioned

“You are DROWNING me. I’m about to die now.”

“But you said that you needed water…”

“I know what I said but TOO MUCH water makes me die.”

“Oh… sorry,” I said- solemnly

“This is unbe*leaf*able…”

“Hahaha that’s a good plant pun.”

“I guess my *tyme* has come…”

“I am so sorry, Benjamin. I didn’t mean to kill you.”

After my three most precious plants died to my own ignorance, I doubted my plant caring abilities. I always thought plants were special to me, after all, I can hear their internal screaming every time I mess up. I ether starve or drown my plants, no in-between. Was it even possible for me to be worthy to keep plants? It didn't matter. There was one thing I had to do now.

Two hours later.

"Done," I say with relief. I wipe my forehead triumphantly. I had created three beautiful tiny graves for my three plants that had suffered so much through my incompetence. Each one had their names on it. Christopher. Christopher II. Benjamin. I wasn't sure if they would go anywhere after their death... like plant-heaven or something. But they would live on in my hearts at least.

"IT'S TIME. I'm trying something different. Something that will prove if I'm really green-thumbed at all. I'm going to care for a plant from scratch."
I grabbed an apple from my fridge, one that was somehow still alive, and brutally sliced it open to remove it's offspring: seeds. I could hear the tiny whispers of the seeds, just little babies ready to grow into tall apple trees. I gently placed one seed inside a pile of dirt in my plant pot and dropped a tiny amount of water on top of the dirt.
"That's it."
I moved back with my hands in the air, cautious for if I would accidently kill it somehow.
"If this thing doesn't grow by tomorrow, then I guess I'm not a plant keeper after all..."

After a very restless night of sleep, I open my eyes to find warm sunshine flooding into my dull room. I wonder how my plant is doing? At that thought I leap out of bed and scramble into my kitchen. I approach the window sill where my makeshift flowerpot rests. After opening the curtains to let the light flood in, I bend down closely to inspect my creation. I squint, searching earnestly for any sign of growth. Huffing at it, I scold my lack of plant, “Remember, I TOLD you that if you didn't grow by today that I would give up on plants forever!” I lower my face so close to the pot my nose lightly touches the surface of the topsoil. My glasses slide down my sweaty nose slowly and sink into the dirt. They catch the light of the sun, and like a magnifying glass, the thick lenses pinpoint the sunlight into the center of the soil like a golden laser. Then out of the blue, I hear the faintest of a yawn, as if a miniscule baby was waking up. A sliver of green shoots out of the soil, and I jump back from the windowsill. “It couldn’t, could it?!” I think. With hesitant steps I creep back to the pot and stare in shock at what I see. I did it. I DID IT! “I freaking did it!!” I shout for all the world to hear. “I grew a plant!”

“Hush, big guy! I’m trying to sleep here!”

My eyes fly towards my plant, where the green shoot has grown almost 2 inches already. Its little cotyledons slowly extend outwards, and a teeny tiny leaf starts to grow. I stare at it half wondering if I imagined the voice. “Is that you little guy? Am I going crazy?”

“I think you already are crazy.”

“Ha! You can speak!” I crouch down, focusing on the little seedling. “I dub you, uh…. Aha! I, dub you, Phil!”

“That’s seriously the best you can come up with?” His voice is squeaky and babyish but incredibly sarcastic.

“Ouch. For your information, I personally think Phil is a marvelous name. End. Of. Story.” I glower at him and cross my arms stubbornly.

“I want something different!” His tiny voice is the picture of petulance.

Already getting sick of him I turn my back and head back to my room. Pausing at the door, I glance back and offer my final remark; “Deal with it.”

He whines and howls loudly, but I just smirk to myself and hop back into bed.