Necromancy's fun, once you get past the smell.

Take me for example. Actually, my nose hasn't worked since the accident, and that's fine by me. Means no more obstacles at work. Anyway, I can find work anywhere, and it's always super easy. Need a testimony in a lawsuit? No problem, let me go talk with the victim. Closure for living family or friends? I got you, bud. Cheap labor? Fuck you, go actually hire someone. Cadavers for a zombie-themed haunted house? Absolutely.

That's just the stuff I can think of off the top of my head.

Anyway, you need an extension on life's deadline (get it? Haha), I'm your guy.

Call or message me at XXX-XXX-XXXX or @----- today. My rates are flexible!

-- Your Local Necromancer, Thanias

I wake up at 5:00 a.m. every day. One with my talents needs an early start to the day. I usually chat with 2 of my zombies at the breakfast table while I drink black tea and munch some hardtack. Too bad they aren't very verbal, just moans and groans. At 6:00, I listen for the echoes of the spirits of the dead.

I follow their sounds. Wherever I find them, I start asking around for my next gig. Today, for example, I "cured" a sickly child, decorated a haunted house, diagnosed someone with consumption, and dug a handful of graves.

My schedule is flexible, but my long work day usually allows me to go home around 7:00 p.m. I'll commune with the dead and record some soundtracks with my theremin to lull myself and the restless ones to sleep. I dream of the underworld and those who will soon make the journey there.